Love and submission in marriage

As sort of a follow up to the last post, I am going to give what I consider practical advice on Ephesians 5’s command on spousal relations. My advice is not infallible but hopefully it honors the Word of God. The passage again is:

Ephesians 5:

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

A few things are in play here. First, we do these commands because Jesus authored it through the Holy Spirit. We don’t use secondary excuses to love our wives, nor can they use other reasons to submit to their husbands. It is folly to make up other reasons because if worldly reasons for obeying fail, we are likely to stumble. First and foremost, we do these things because God said we are to do it. Honor God, and let no other reason or doctrine take His place for why you act.

God loves us, that is He does good for us. We in turn love our wives. What is good is what the Word of God commands us to do. In truth, there is really no other quality we value more highly in a woman than their ability to be lovable, because this allows us to more freely love them without restraint, and thus with joy do what the Lord commands. We must feel she is a worthy vessel for our love to do this well, which she can show her husband by submitting to him. Feminists fail on this point, because instead of being lovable, and thus receiving love freely from their husband, they take on a mantle of rebellion, and drive him away.

The next point would be that wives are to submit to their husbands. No woman wants to hear that these days! It is hard to find a pastor who will ask a woman to obey in her wedding vows. God however commands that she submit to her husband, as she would unto the Lord. The way that she will do this will differ in each marriage, but the best place to start is to work on being lovable to her husband. Do the things he likes is submission. If he likes you with long hair, then wear it long. If he wants you to have sex, do it unless you are indisposed due to illness(shouldn’t be requested if he is loving you) or if you decided together to be chaste for a time. If he asks you to do a chore, then again do it. He may give you dreaded commands, but most men will be happy with your submission to what you consider smalls things, and they will in turn love you more, and consider your side of things in return when making decisions. Thus you will be submitting one to another.

1 Peter 3:7 KJV

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered .
You know what is reasonable and what isn’t in your marriage. If you do not know the boundaries you need to speak to your spouse and work out what they are. Loving her should not require showering her in luxury  anymore than submission means she is being oppressed. A wife chooses to submit, knowing it is the Lord’s Word to do so. A man submits to loving her because of the same reason. Peace with God, and joy should follow when both do as they should.

About endwatcher

A resident of Maryland, I am a born again believer who places his faith on Jesus for salvation. I seek to live out being His disciple and follow after Him.
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